My experience is that people often put their frustration and feelings on others.
They did this; they acted like this, they say this, they are like this, they are this kind of person.
This is coupled with a desire that the other person needs to change.
How do I get them to see how frustrating their behaviour is?
With acceptance and commitment life coaching, you realise that it isn't the other person causing your suffering but your thoughts, stories and feelings.
Once you relate differently to these thoughts, stories and feelings, you find that your behaviour changes and pretty soon so does the behaviour of everyone else around you.
Three of the significant relationship benefits of acceptance and commitment life coaching include.
It is hard to overstate the importance of being present in your relationships. Even more so with people who you find difficult.
Presence helps you listen with openness and awareness to the other.
When you are fully present, you can engage with what the other person is saying rather than just the words they speak.
For example, your partner may say "you never take the bins out."
If you're not present, you'll most likely react with "yes I do", and you will get into a point scoring style argument about the number of times each of you has put the bins out.
Instead, being present allows you to understand the deeper meaning behind the words that are spoken such as the other doesn't feel supported or is stressed and overwhelmed.
Choosing to respond rather than react you could ask a question "do you feel like you need more support right now or what can I do help you feel more supported?"
You then open a dialogue rather than start an argument.
You'll attract better people into your life
By relating differently to your thoughts and story about yourself, you begin to see yourself in a new more compassionate way.
By using the principles of acceptance and commitment coaching, you start to put your own needs first and take better care of yourself.
Then you'll feel more confident and loving about yourself and others will see and feel that as well.
You'll start to understand how you can love yourself better and then you'll be able to communicate to others how they can love you.
If you don't know how to love yourself then how can you show others how to love you?
Of course, you may find that people that are currently in your life don't like the new version of you.
Growing and evolving yourself past who you are now may mean people leave you behind.
That's ok, you can be kind and loving to everyone but be ok with people not being in your life.
You'll be clear about what you want your relationship to be about
Your fear of vulnerability stops you creating the relationship that you want for yourself.
Acceptance and commitment life coaching helps you become more open with yourself and others.
That openness helps others see what you want.
You to become more transparent to yourself and others.
There is nothing in the way of your truth anymore.
You'll be able to be open and honest about how you feel, what you want, like or dislike.
If you are clear about your intentions and what you want your life to be about you'll be more explicit in communicating this to other people.
Then you can start to create the relationship that you want based on mutual understanding and respect.
And not based on the fear of rejection or wanting the approval of others.